| Date | Twat | Nominator | Reason |
|---|
| 04/02/12 | TThe cunt that shouts WONGA! in the envirofone ads | Coxy | For not fucking OFF. |
| 28/01/12 | Professor Green | sonicx | For seeking 'counselling'from Coldplays 'Chris Martin' Fucking hell! |
| 21/01/12 | Alex Salmond | Tosser spotter | Fot thinking that even the Scottish are stupid enough to vote for Independence. |
| 14/01/12 | Josie Long | Ricardo | For being the spastics spastic. And liking spaghettti hoops. |
| 07/01/12 | Diane 'Fat' Abbott | Ricardo | For having a mouth even bigger than her arse. |
| 31/12/11 | frankie cocozza from the xfactor | Coxy | Twat of the week, year, century. |
| 24/12/11 | Simon Brass | Spanner | For managing to be an even bigger twat than Chris Jones within less than a week of trying. |
| 17/12/11 | Chris Jones | Spanner | For demonstrating unprecedented levels of arch-twattery, and meaning it. |
| 10/12/11 | Vince Cable (The pretend Lib Dem) | Tosser spotter | He's optimistic about the Eurozone! |
| 03/12/11 | Kerry Katona | Where's My Drink? | It's Kerry Katona, that's all the reason that's needed... |
| 26/11/11 | Fatima Whitbread. | Where's My Drink? | Her 'man-ish-ness' scares the crap out of me, imagine waking up next to that after a night on the piss? If Fatima wants sex, it's going to happen, kicking and screaming, it's going to happen. |
| 19/11/11 | Russell Howard | FilthyBones | He's just awful. Really really dreaful. |
| 12/11/11 | Matt Cardle | Coxy | For flopping out of the top ten after one week like the twat we all knew he was. |
| 05/11/11 | frankie cocozza from the xfactor | IHATEONIONS | a lyric reading out loud vile breeding machine twat |
| 29/10/11 | Alex Ferguson. | tommie2step | Six one, six fucking one, when his team wins he still has a face that would be at home at the graveside of any funeral. Stated yesterday the defeat was embarrassing, it was not embarrassing it is way beyond embarrassing we are talking suicide here Alex, the old hari kari mate. One thing for sure, the dour Celtic manger who by the way who's team got thrashed six fucking one, will not crack a smile all season. |
| 22/10/11 | Laurie Penny | Joe ego | For protesting against capitalism, then writing the article about it in Starbucks. |
| 15/10/11 | John McCririck | tommie2step | Just look, any stand up person has got to vote for this. There is nothing walking this planet that is more cuntish. I have given you the evidence, vote with your heart, vote with your eyes, you cannot let this opportunity to make the "man" an official twat.
Remember, he could becoming to a TV screen near you, grasp this moment and shout to the world, NO, this man is a twat. |
| 08/10/11 | Marc Warren | Beaver McMuncher | For saying that his most treasured possession is his bed & that the most valuable thing he has lost that he wished he could have back was a toy gun. |
| 01/10/11 | The X Factor | jcc | Every year it comes back...like hay fever and tax returns, but less welcome. |
| 24/09/11 | Sanity's Last Hope | Andy_Dandy | For being about as funny as rectal cancer, while displaying all the social skills of a retarded Mongolian chicken farmer. |
| 17/09/11 | Tony Blair | IHATEONIONS | for not handing himself in for treason and war crimes as a mark of respect towards 9/11 |
| 10/09/11 | Red or Black | IHATEONIONS | for being an overhyped pile of shit this week |
| 03/09/11 | Lasophielle | Ricardo | Because she doesn't like my monocle. |
| 27/08/11 | Bonnie Tyler | big cj | For boycotting Strepsils, the cunt. |
| 20/08/11 | Big Brother Housemates | IHATEONIONS | for coming back into our lives.fuck off you twats.all of you |
| 13/08/11 | tommie2step | tommie2step | You know it makes sense. |
| 06/08/11 | sarah millican | crazylazy | cos my knuckles go white every time i see it |
| 30/07/11 | Tony Robinson | Stop It Tony | Time Team? More like Time Cunt! |
| 23/07/11 | George Alagiah | Ricardo | For thinking The Muslim Brotherhood are good chaps and having the barefaced cheek to say it to the people watching TV in Britain. |
| 09/07/11 | Guest | Stop It Tony | We all know why. But for newcomers that don't tis because Guest is after love & loathing at the same time but can only get this by supressing the genuine enjoyment of others with constant interruptions and passive aggression of such a finite scale that it has only come to light with the growing frustration of the aggressor. Cuntyguest. |
| 02/07/11 | Bono | tommie2step | Always wearing sunglasses.... |
| 25/06/11 | Chris de Burgh | big cj | For spelling the name 'cunt' with 'BURGH'. Illiterate fuck. |
| 18/06/11 | Queen of the Gnus: Germaine Greer | sonicx | For all that shit she said on Question Time last week.
Whats the difference between a Yogurt & Australia?
After a while a Yoghurt develops a Culture. |
| 11/06/11 | Stewart Lee | Ricardo | Because there isn't a more worthy nomination on the whole site. |
| 04/06/11 | Sepp Blatter | Presuming Ed | For running an organisation ripe with corruption and for being the only candidate in the leadership election. But mostly for having anything to do with football, that alone pushed the twat-o-meter of the scale, oh and for being Swiss the Toblereone muching twat. |
| 28/05/11 | Russell Brand | Spanner | For being deported from Japan, amongst other twattish things. |
| 21/05/11 | Patrick Kielty | big cj | For being unfunny, and of course, for not having a neck. |
| 14/05/11 | Stewart Lee | neva2busy | Because he's a fucking twat! |
| 07/05/11 | Stewart Lee | Coxy | 'Crisps'. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. |
| 30/04/11 | Stevey | Ray Tupper | Feminist bastard thats as poisonous as a blue waffled cunt! |
| 23/04/11 | David Jason | jcc | Twat of EVERY week on UK Gold in 'Only Fools and Horses'. Go away! |
| 16/04/11 | Jonathon Pot Smoker | Tosser spotter | For picking a fight with the meanest site this side of Texas. |
| 09/04/11 | Nick Clegg | Tosser spotter | For giving everyone a lecture on Social Mobility and saying he didn't want internships to go to friends etc, while forgetting to mention his Dad got him his first City internship by having a word with a friend. |
| 02/04/11 | Elbow | malamute69 | Currently driving me fucking CRAZY on 6 Music with their 'open arms' bullshit yet-another-anthem. Please comment these a bit more so we can 11 the cunts into oblivion. |
| 26/03/11 | Russell Brand | Tosser spotter | He's admitted he's bored with marriage, not in private to a mate but in a TV interview. |
| 19/03/11 | Politicians. | grumpy_twat | because they are politicians. 'nuff said. |
| 12/03/11 | Justin Beiber | Ray Tupper | For holding me against my will for 3 hours in a multi-storey car park, because the bastard had a concert at the NIA in Birmingham. Yet not being a fan was totally unaware he was there. who the fuck is he anyway? |
| 05/03/11 | Laurie Penny | Ricardo | From being so poor, she's down to her last iPad. |
| 26/02/11 | Dave Cameron | Tosser spotter | For trying to sell arms to Egypt when they don't need them now. |
| 19/02/11 | Rastamouse | Tosser spotter | Well, because, just because.... |
| 12/02/11 | Dave Cameron | Man in the Pub | For being stupid enough to promise a bloke with an autistic child who was thinking of throwing himself off a bridge that he'd actually help him out. |
| 05/02/11 | Charlie Sheen | Tosser spotter | For going into rehab while he could be out shagging and taking drugs. |
| 22/01/11 | Robert Downey Jr | Tosser spotter | For confirming infront of 100m people that he is indeed further up his arse than David has been up Elton's. |
| 15/01/11 | His Royal Cluntness, Alan Johnson | Tosser spotter | For not knowing much about anything really. |
| 08/01/11 | Rich Rodriguez | TonyRome | This fucking idiot got the University of Michigan football program and the school HUMILIATED on national television. FIRE THE TWAT! |
| 01/01/11 | David Walliams | Itchy Nibletts | Getting married is the funniest thing he will ever do. |
| 25/12/10 | Simon Cowell | A Seagull | For being about as musically talented as a brussel sprout, polluting the charts with braindead dross, whilst publically stating the exact opposite. Fuck off Cowell. |
| 18/12/10 | HumanBeing | A Seagull | For boring the tits off everyone. |
| 11/12/10 | Jamie Oliver | adamthepostman | for being a lisping twat |
| 04/12/10 | Jimmy Vespa's friend Wendy | Tosser spotter | For not showing her nipples |
| 27/11/10 | Simon Cowell | cuckman | for his stupid kirk douglas hair his fucking t shirts his immaculate teeth and his god awful i know everything look,what a cunt,someone please take this arrogant cunt out and lets have real music again! |
| 20/11/10 | Audley Harrison | BoomBox | For achieving his destiny! |
| 13/11/10 | Comrade Phil Woolas | It's the Bailiffs | Haha! Fuck off comrade. |
| 06/11/10 | Harriet Harman | Tosser spotter | For calling Danny Alexander a ginger rodent while being quite nuts herself. |
| 30/10/10 | Wayne Rooney | It's the Bailiffs | A potato is now paid £250,000 a week. Another reason football and it's supporters are useless. |
| 23/10/10 | The Labour Party | It's the Bailiffs | No doubt be having a hissy fit this week depsite the whole reason for the spending review is their fucking fault in the first place. Cunts! |
| 16/10/10 | Gamu Nhengu | It's the Bailiffs | Boo-hoo... fuck off Gamu. You've had an easy ride at our expense for too long. We'll be sending your details to Mr Mugabe with our kindest regards. |
| 09/10/10 | Daybreak | Letondu | Two twats for the price of one.............. |
| 02/10/10 | Ed Miliband | It's the Bailiffs | I'm sure we'll see you here many times over the coming years, Ed. Here's to the first. |
| 25/09/10 | Hardeep Singh Kohli aka Lettice head | It's the Bailiffs | Sex pest. |
| 18/09/10 | Bob Crow | It's the Bailiffs | Wants us all to down tools but is secretly lining his own pockets. |
| 11/09/10 | Patrick Kielty | poobarr | Is talent is so infantsably small the Haldron Collider could find it. He should pay us for having to enduring him being broadcast and the producers who put him on should get the lash |
| 05/09/10 | Cricket | Tosser spotter | For paying £80 for a ticket when the result is already decided. |
| 28/08/10 | Tiger Woods | Tosser spotter | For wasting about $2m per extra mistress when hookers would have been cheaper. |
| 21/08/10 | Barack Obama | Tosser spotter | For the next cuntish thing he's going to do this week. |
| 14/08/10 | Football Fans | Tosser spotter | For booing the England players at the MU and Chelsea match but still paying a fortune to see them. |
| 31/07/10 | Madonna | Coxy | For embarking on an 'Urban Street' tour when she should be sitting down watching Coronation Street. |
| 24/07/10 | Cherie Blair | Joe ego | For having a twat of a face, twatty kids, a mammoth twat of a husband and the mouldiest twat the world has ever seen. |
| 17/07/10 | Andy Murray | LyingScotsman | For taking shit from JAMES CORDEN. |
| 10/07/10 | Jedward | LyingScotsman | Do i really need a reason. |
| 03/07/10 | Wayne Rooney | Tosser spotter | For forgetting what side he's on. |
| 26/06/10 | Harriet Harman | rantlord | This budget was unnecessary (true quote) |
| 19/06/10 | Robert Green | rantlord | Inability to stop a ball travelling at two miles per hour. |
| 12/06/10 | James Corden | Joe ego | For being even worse than Dizzee Rascal in the same set. |
| 05/06/10 | Josh Dubovi | Tosser spotter | For making us look even cuntier than we are. |
| 29/05/10 | dickfingaz's | Tosser spotter | Need I explain? |
| 22/05/10 | Dave Cameron | A lost conspiracy | For allowing Nick Clegg to orally imbibe his testicles and draw upon the succulently for no less than 30 seconds. |
| 15/05/10 | Nick Clegg | A lost conspiracy | For being Nick Clegg |
| 08/05/10 | Daniel Radcliffe | Tosser spotter | For having magical powers and squandering them on the Lib Dems. |
| 01/05/10 | Nick Clegg | Dunelmus | Well, welcome to the big world, Nick, welcome to - DSMO twat of the week - first Saturday in May 2010. |
| 24/04/10 | Coxy's new neighbour | Coxy | For sellotaping a webcam to his front door and acting the general anus. |
