| Date | Annoyance | Nominator | Rumour |
|---|
| 04/02/12 | Falkland Islands | BobbyFizz | Simon Weston has spend the past 20 years engineering the looming conflict. He wants revenge. This time it's personal. |
| 28/01/12 | Natalie Cassidy | Where's My Drink? | Is in no way bitter with being voted off Celebrity Big Brother last Friday... |
| 21/01/12 | The Costa Concordia's Captain's Excuses | Tosser spotter | It wasn't his fault as he was at lunch. |
| 14/01/12 | Josie Long | Ricardo | She's funny. |
| 07/01/12 | frankie cocozza from the xfactor | azzthom | If you take the name 'Frankie Cocozza', mix up the letters, take some away, and add some others - you get 'Shitcunt Fuckface'. Coincidence? |
| 31/12/11 | frankie cocozza from the xfactor | big cj | For spelling the word 'Wannabe' with the letters W, I, L, and D. Silly boy. |
| 24/12/11 | Justin Beiber | azzthom | likes to 'do it' with girls, and has never been anywhere near a closet. |
| 17/12/11 | Lasophielle | azzthom | Is actually an alias of Jeremy Clarkson. |
| 10/12/11 | Laurie Penny | Tosser spotter | The Spider is recovering nicely but has taken on traits such as talking gibberish and moaning about hospital fees for the poor. |
| 03/12/11 | The Euro | Where's My Drink? | The UK is not adopting the Euro, in fact, the European's are adopting the British £. But don't tell anyone, shhhhh! |
| 26/11/11 | Hagen van Tronje | Tosser spotter | He's covering for striking staff at the UK borders next wednesday and he's bringing a colour chart in from B & Q. |
| 19/11/11 | Russel Grant | tommie2step | Is one dead hard bastard, accuse him of being Gay your a dead man walking. Believe it. |
| 12/11/11 | Matt Cardle | Coxy | He's number one. |
| 05/11/11 | Jimmy Savile | IHATEONIONS | has no skeletons in the closet whatsoever.he has a pure and decent secret lifestyle like cliff richard has |
| 29/10/11 | Colonel Gaddafi | tommie2step | Does not dye his hair and rumours of his death have been greatly exaggerated |
| 22/10/11 | The DSMO Tucker Jenkins Thread | Ricardo | "He was in London and came across some mass protests completely by accident." |
| 15/10/11 | Noel Edmonds | otis | Hides a 666 mark under his beard. |
| 08/10/11 | Amanda "Foxy Knoxy" Knox | IHATEONIONS | enjoys a good padded cell now and again |
| 01/10/11 | Adrian Edmondson | rezavoire79 | What a horrible cunt of a man. Arrange these words in correct order,
"His arse own up shitcunt total" - good luck. |
| 24/09/11 | Ed Balls | IHATEONIONS | is not a cunt |
| 17/09/11 | BIG CJ. | Sanitys Last Hope | Other than a few pictures which could have been pulled off anywhere and someones claim for a phone call with her. Is she really a lass or a cruel trick by TS to entice the lads to come back to DSMO to show "females post on this site too" and she posts pics. |
| 10/09/11 | Captain Samosa still on the run | Ricardo | He's left forever and he's never ever coming back. So there. |
| 03/09/11 | Tom Waits | Coxy | He's gonna clean up at the MTV awards next year. |
| 27/08/11 | Tony Blair | IHATEONIONS | planning gadaffi's getaway car |
| 20/08/11 | White Mouse | Ricardo | He's welcome here any time. |
| 13/08/11 | Jimmy Sommerville | Ricardo | He's not back! |
| 06/08/11 | Alan Carr | tommie2step | The gay thing is just an act. |
| 30/07/11 | Stop It Tony | Stop It Tony | Has all of Blackadder, Maid Marion & Time Team on DVD |
| 23/07/11 | Wendi Deng | Tosser spotter | She loves him for his good looks. |
| 09/07/11 | Tracy Emin | Stop It Tony | Trained as an artist for 3 years before becoming a toad licker for Prince Hussain. She got the sack after licking the toads with her front bottoms tongue and dipping them in sherbet before passing them onto his royal fucked-up-ness |
| 02/07/11 | Banks | tommie2step | They have your interests at heart |
| 25/06/11 | Moans About Tony Robinson | Stop It Tony | He has been hiding flea circus's inside his foreskin for the princely sum of £0:63 a week. Payable to his agent via Gold-Gussets-R-Us |
| 18/06/11 | The DSMO Tucker Jenkins Thread | Ricardo | He's been sending Ricardo his Y-Fronts again. |
| 11/06/11 | Stewart Lee | Ricardo | His Grandad doesn't actually like crisps. |
| 04/06/11 | Cliff Richard | Nasty Bastard | He uses vaginal deoderant. |
| 28/05/11 | Imogen Thomas | Tosser spotter | She's a virgin. |
| 21/05/11 | Dominique Strauss Kahn | Tosser spotter | He wa just trying to get another towel. |
| 14/05/11 | Josie Long | bismark | Josie Long is Robin Ince's daughter - and Stewart Lee's the father. |
| 07/05/11 | Osama Bin Laden | Tosser spotter | He's a live and well and living in Chipping Norton. Ask for Larry. |
| 30/04/11 | Laurie Penny | Ricardo | She's actually got a matching Margaret Thatcher pillow case and duvet set. |
| 23/04/11 | CJ's 36E Chest | Sanitys Last Hope | Rumour has it, she will finally get them out for one pic and one pic only. But only if HG promises to jizz on a printed picture of it and upload it. |
| 09/04/11 | Scarcock. | Tosser spotter | For being the mystery ex HC guest. |
| 02/04/11 | The 26th March TUC Anti-Cuts Rally. | big cj | I did'nt know that people got annoyed if you sliced TUC biscuits. |
| 26/03/11 | Hagen van Tronje | Tosser spotter | He managed to make a comment without mentioning Hitler |
| 19/03/11 | Colonel Gaddafi | Tosser spotter | He's sorry and he just wants to chill out with a nice Chianti. |
| 12/03/11 | CJ's 36E Chest | big cj | Aye they fucking are. Haha. So there! |
| 05/03/11 | Colonel Gaddafi | Ricardo | He's got it all under control. |
| 26/02/11 | Colonel Gaddafi | Tosser spotter | He's going to get away with it. |
| 19/02/11 | Jimmy Vespa. | Joe ego | He's been kidnapped by Cooked & Bombed and force-fed lettuce. |
| 12/02/11 | Ed Miliband | Tosser spotter | The kid who whacked him at school didn't enjoy it. |
| 05/02/11 | Egypt | Tosser spotter | They've got some cheap holiday deals at the moment. |
| 29/01/11 | Guests on DSMO | Tosser spotter | One of them had an IQ above 80. |
| 22/01/11 | Chris Martin (Coldplay) | sonicx | On an early Far East tour cold play got pissed up & ordered turtle soup & Dolphin for a laugh! |
| 15/01/11 | Whales | Tosser spotter | Whale-sharks are fish |
| 08/01/11 | Pete Postlethwaite | Tosser spotter | He's looking forward to Easter. |
| 01/01/11 | Simon Cowell | Itchy Nibletts | Really, really, REALLY likes birds! Waayhayyy! Birds! Eh? Nudge etc. (although it's considerably more likely that he's really a gigantic homo) |
| 25/12/10 | BIG CJ. | big cj | Gets shitfaced off of one can of beer, according to a perma-tanned, white haired ten-a-penny oompa loompa-alike SLAG! (who works in a shop and refused her drink) |
| 18/12/10 | BIG CJ. | big cj | she's gonna show BOTH her boobs |
| 11/12/10 | BIG CJ. | It's the Bailiffs | Has to carry her tits round in a wheelbarrow. |
| 04/12/10 | Wankers who say ''It's going to snow next week.'' | big cj | Its only because they are looking forward to pissing in the snow and making yellow snow cones to eat, the filthy fucks. |
| 27/11/10 | The Irish | Tosser spotter | They're going to pay us back. |
| 20/11/10 | Audley Harrison | It's the Bailiffs | Claims he once took candy from a baby. |
| 13/11/10 | Audley Harrison | Joe ego | And the new.. undisputed.. WBA.. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLDDDDDDDD.. AUDLEY HARRISON! |
| 06/11/10 | Charlie Sheen | Ricardo | It was the dodgy peanuts. |
| 30/10/10 | Nick Clegg | Tosser spotter | He once said a swear word and went apple scrumping. |
| 23/10/10 | William Hague | troutmask | I KNOW HE IS ELMER FUDDS GRANDSON |
| 16/10/10 | The Chilean Miners | It's the Bailiffs | Looking forward to their next shift. |
| 09/10/10 | Peter Andre | Ricardo | He's going to reveal lots of things we want to hear. |
| 02/10/10 | David Miliband | Tosser spotter | He didn't mind losing to his brother at all. |
| 25/09/10 | Stephen Fry | Tosser spotter | He's only 90% cunt. |
| 18/09/10 | The Pope | Tosser spotter | Your children are safe. |
| 11/09/10 | Tony Blair | Tosser spotter | He's cancelled his London book signing because of the hassle it would could cause the police and not the fact he didn't fancy getting another shoeing. |
| 05/09/10 | The X Factor | Tosser spotter | It's just so full of talent. |
| 21/08/10 | English summer weather | BoomBox | Its still on its way |
| 14/08/10 | Abi Clancy | Tosser spotter | She's going to leave the multi-millionaire Crouch and go back to flipping burgers. |
| 07/08/10 | Barack Obama | Tosser spotter | Yes he can. |
| 31/07/10 | "Ben" from Eastenders | willy digits | After attacking a number of prison officers, 'Mad' Ben Mitchell has embarked on a Raul Moat style boredom spree. His good friend Eric Bristow is trying to get him to surrender using an half drunk bottle of cider and a happy meal. |
| 24/07/10 | James Corden | A lost conspiracy | The closest this comedian has ever gotten to having someone crack up in his presence was when his rent boy spread his arse cheeks to rim him. But that's not a rumour |
| 17/07/10 | Paul Gascoigne | Pikey Lidl | Paul Gascoigne has a brain. |
| 10/07/10 | Raoul Moat | Joe ego | Seeing Gazza was the final straw. |
| 03/07/10 | The England Football Team | Ricardo | We're going to beat the Germans. |
| 26/06/10 | Deal or No Deal. | LyingScotsman | 21 boxes and only 1 question "Why has this show not been cancelled yet?" |
| 19/06/10 | The England Football Team | Tosser spotter | We won. |
| 12/06/10 | James Corden | Joe ego | He's hosting this years MOBO awards. |
| 05/06/10 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | He is NEVER coming back! |
| 29/05/10 | Ross Noble | dickfingaz | He bums cats |
| 22/05/10 | Nick Clegg | A lost conspiracy | He performed oral sex on David Cameron just to gain a semblance of power |
| 15/05/10 | Gordon Brown | A lost conspiracy | His jaws been fixed |
| 08/05/10 | Nick Clegg | Tosser spotter | He's going to win it. |
| 01/05/10 | Gordon Brown | A lost conspiracy | He isn't a Biggot |
| 24/04/10 | Comment of The Week | Tosser spotter | It's cocked |
